My mom used to make this internet chocolate chip cookie recipe for me back in the 90s.

Mom was great. She did all kinds of stuff every mom should do, but a lot of modern moms have forgotten about, like make me walk on broken glass so i wouldn’t be weak.

She also got us pets, then killed them in front of me. An old, beloved family tradition.

I miss mom so much, but her memory lives on through my mom’s easy satisfying chocolate chip cookie recipe.

Whenever i was feeling down, and we didn’t have any pets for her to kill in front of me, these cookies would make me feel better.

Heres the recipe:

2 cups flour 235ml water 1 stick of butter 1 quarter cup of cat poop 1 half cup of antifreeze for sweetness.

Mix it all together in bowl, then preheat the oven to 235°

Form the cookies into balls on the baking sheet, and for an extra twist, add a full container of lighter fluid.

;ack for 30 minutes at 400 degrees.

Now, i know what you’re thinking. The cat poop actually makes better chocolate chips than chocolate, plus it’s simpler, easier, and cheaper!

What if capitalism is just feasting on its own entrails, and we cant stop it from killing itself without killing it, and we need to stop trying to keep this monstrous fucking system alive?

What if we tried literally anything else?

Just like grandma used to make!

Yes im coming out against dick rockets here.

It’s kind og funnier if you don’t get it.

Thanks for murdering a perfectly good bit.

No, honey, it’s 2025.

I don’t know what happened to you, but im so fucking sorry.

Edit: you can down vote me all you want. It doesn’t change the truth. Odds are everyone you knew is dead.

and is still functional and doing valuable things in the 70s

Oh, wow, you might wanna sit down for this.

The only ‘delivery guy’ i ever met who got paid even close to six figures (and that doesn’t include operation+maintenance) spoke like a million languages, had advice for how much to bribe border guards in various countries and currencies, most of which no longer exist, and may have had ties to the state department.

And i feel like thats not the kind of delivery guy amazon is trying to replace with these.

The labor aspect of class politics is complicated.

But you don’t have to understand any of it to think stealing these would be cool as fuck.

Maybe stop relying on fucking youtube?

The agency that landed people on the moon so long ago most of the people involved have died if old age, and the event will soon pass out of living memory?

The one where when they let a single rocket explode, one time, rocked the nation, because their record was so close to flawless?

The one that constantly gives us new sources for scientific data?

Yeah fuck them. They never made a dick rocket.

Not being a coward.

Oh, so there’s only one of those?

Right, so you could only access it by paying corporate citizens. Yes.

Okay but ‘public domain’ is communist, and everyone within 20 miles of it should be killed

But its not physical so there is no precise location for it, and the only way to sidestep this existential problem is by not having a public domain, so maybe my headache goes away.

No but im saying it shouldn’t be public, it should be given to a good corporate citizen to maintain so we can rent it back when we need it.

Sorry for what? This was consensual.

Maybe we can do a three way where i let our hot cia affiliated friend tickle your labor while i do?

You know, for your birthday?

All that gdpness hot and throbbing in my mouth as i wrap my accounting department around it, and extract everything i can. I’ll be methodical, ruthless, and messy, as i extract every last bit.